April 2011

Tonight 4/28 Join Trace at The Ventura Harbor Comedy for a live TV taping
Ventura Harbor Comedy Club :: TV Taping w/ Five Headliners hosted by Brian Sheil w/ FREE FOOD from Milanos at 7pm: "Ventura Harbor Comedy Club
1559 Spinnaker Drive, Suite 205
Ventura, CA 93001
Telephone: (805) 644-1500
"Click Here for Directions"

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TTT 04/19/2011

Question: What is the oldest known written recipe for?
ANSWER: Beer

When archaeologists discovered a four-thousand-year old Mesopotamian clay tablet, they were naturally curious to learn what it was all about. So a good deal of scholarly effort was put into the task of deciphering its cryptic markings.As it turns out, the ancient Mesopotamians were recording a recipe for beer. And not just any recipe, but a formula handed down from the god Enki himself.

Question. The Titanic romance between Rose and Jack got them the top spot for the The Most Romantic Onscreen Couple. What couple came in 3rd place?

Answer: Edward and Vivian - A.K.A. Richard Gere, & Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman"

Question: At home Men do it in the morning; while women usually do this at night. What is it?
Answer: clean the kitchen/ do the dishes

Question: The number of these among seniors has gone up 43% since 2005? What has skyrocket among seniors?
Answer: STD Rates!!!! Why, Grandma, Why?

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the STD rates for SENIOR CITIZENS are going up faster than the rates for any other age group in the country. Since 2005, the number of seniors who have been diagnosed with syphilis and Chlamydia is up an incredible 43%.

Question: According to a new survey, there are really only TWO things we all agree aren't sharable on Facebook. One is SEX LIfe what is the other thing people don’t believe in sharing on facebook?
Answer: SALARIES.

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Love a good bargain? Want to help a good cause?
Love a good bargain? Want to help a good cause? Stop by the 257 South Joanne Ave. in Ventura 93003 for massive yard sale. SATURDAY 4/23 8am- ????? All the proceeds go to fund The People to People World Leadership Program participation.

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3rd Annual Wine & Art Trail in Downtown Oxnard this Sunday!
Wine tasting, food sampling, Live music & a raffle offering fabulous prizes. Sunday, April 17, the trail starts at 1:00 to 5:00 pm in downtown Oxnard’s Heritage Square and features an eight-stop walking tour. The trail will take participants through a fun tour tasting fine local wines and food offerings while enjoying the unique artists’ exhibits at each location.
Tickets are $50 at the event BUT if you go to www.gnarlybuys.com right now you can get them for just $25(half off) !!!!
Proceeds go to benefit the Boys & Girls Clubs After-School Music Program. For more info go to www.winearttrail.eventbrite.com

Featuring Wines From
Rancho Ventavo Cellars
Four Brix
Magnavino
Cantara Cellars
Malibu Sundowners
Herzog
Sunland Vintage Cellars
Calabasa Peak Vineyard
San Vicente Cellars

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VP Biden was so sleepy! But he's not the only one nodding off check out the lady behind him! Is she using Joe's shoulder as a pillow?





4 lil' Tricks That Make You Eat Less

If you want to lose weight but have absolutely no will power, here are four tricks that will make you eat less.

#1.) Turn on Relaxing Music. Soft music naturally relaxes you and lowers your stress level, which makes you chew slower than if you were listening to, say, death metal. And when you eat slower, you start feeling full faster.

#2.) Turn on More Lights. Dim lighting might create a more romantic atmosphere, but another reason restaurants keep the lights down is because it lowers your inhibitions and makes you eat more.

#3.) Light a Vanilla-Scented Candle. The scent of vanilla makes you less likely to want dessert. In fact, one group of volunteers lost an average of four-and-a-half pounds each by wearing vanilla-scented patches.

#4.) Paint Your Dining Room Blue. This is weird, but researchers have found that people eat 33% less if they're sitting in a blue room.

--It's because when light bounces off of the walls, it creates a blue tint, which makes the food look less appetizing.

--The colors red, orange, and yellow have the opposite effect, which is why so many fast-food places use those colors inside.
(Reader's Digest)


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TTT Q&A's 4/12/11

Question: According to Joan Rivers if you mix two-thirds water and one-third this together and spray your armpits you wont have BO. What is it?
Answer: vodka


Question: In a new survey of men ages 18 to 45, 89% of Men said they would rather give this up for a Year Than the Internet. What is it?
Answer: toothbrush and toothpaste

Question: scientists have said for years that causes more accidents, and now they also believe it is responsible for lowers SAT scores.
Answer: Daylight Saving Time

Question: Tests prove that when it comes to this particular skill, which is normally associated men, women are more accurate at it than men - even blindfolded. What is it?
Answer: Hammering nails!


QUESTION: 39-21-33 are the measurements of what?

Answer: Barbie if she were life-size FYI...Barbies feet would be a child's size 3! - Her "bust size would be 39 inches and she would have to crawl to support her top-heavy frame. Her bra size would be a 39 FF, putting Dolly Parton’s 40 DDs to shame"! - Her measurements "would be an unrealistic 39-21-33. If Barbie had the hips of an average American woman, size 14, she would be 8’ 9’’. - She "wouldn't have enough room in her arms for all her bones." - Her "head would be almost triple the size of a normal-sized head. Her neck would be twice the length of a normal neck and it would only be able to hold either a trachea or an esophagus, leaving her to choose between eating and breathing


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The 21st Annual Gold Dust Gala Featuring Little TexasSaturday, April 16, 2011
Ventura County Fairgrounds
at Seaside Park in Ventura

Tickets on sale now www.golddustgala.org

Proceeds from the Gold Dust Gala are used for breast cancer detection and treatment, cervical cancer screening and vaccine, and needed diagnostic equipment that benefits women in our community who lack access to life-saving exams. These services are provided by Community Memorial Health System.




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The Relationship Research Institute Has Found the Three Signs Your Relationship Has Potential . . . and Four Signs It's In Trouble
Dr. John Gottman founded the RRI, and he says they've identified the three signs a relationship has long-term potential, and the four signs it's in trouble.

The three signs your relationship has long-term potential are:


#1.) Each of you is genuinely interested in the other's day-to-day lives, dreams, goals, likes, and dislikes.

#2.) You ask open-ended questions and ask for more info and details.

#3.) You show signs of affection like smiling, laughing, and touching.

The four signs your relationship is doomed are:

#1.) Too much criticism.

#2.) You both find yourselves getting defensive all the time.

#3.) There seems to be a lot of contempt.

#4.) Instead of talking out problems, you stonewall each other and shut down communication.

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Would You Let Someone Paint Your House Bright Colors and Cover It With Ads If They Paid Your Mortgage?

The company is called Adzookie. And they're offering to pay your mortgage . . . IF you let them paint your house in bright colors and cover it with ads.

You have to sign up for a minimum of three months and can extend the offer for up to a year. When your contract ends they repaint your house to its original color . . . and stop making your mortgage payments.

--They've only budgeted $100,000 for this program, and each house costs $8,000 just for the paint . . . so if you want to get in on this, you'd better submit an application now. (--You can apply here.)http://www.adzookie.com/paintmyhouse.php


Here's an example of what a painted house would look like. It's yellow, orange, purple, and covered in ads. But at least the lawn looks nicely manicured.





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Why has ‘The Hangover: Part II’ trailer been pulled from theaters?



Warner Bros. has issued a statement regarding the yanked trailer for “The Hangover: Part II.”

“In our haste to meet the placement schedule for this trailer, we failed to properly vet the final version with the MPAA,” says the statement, e-mailed to me by a studio publicist. “We acted immediately to correct the mistake and removed the trailer from screens.” WHY???

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The GI's of Comedy will be doing a "sneak peak" show TONIGHT at the Ventura Harbor Comedy Club at 8 pm! VETS & SERVICEMEMBERS ARE FREE WITH MILITARY ID! $15 at the door. www.venturaharborcomedyclub.com

5 US veterans turned standup comics will be touring all over the world to support of men and women in uniform.

Thom Tran (US Army)
Jose Sarduy (US Air Force)
G Reilly (US Navy)
Will C (USMC)
Tom Irwin (US Army)

Get more info at www.gisofcomedy.com or www.facebook.com/gisofcomedy
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TTT 04/05/11

Question: 'Frankly, My Dear, I Don't Give a Damn' was voted the Best Movie Line of all time #2 was Clint Eastwood “Go ahead make my day” -- what was voted #3?
Answer: The Godfather I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse”
#4 "I'll have what she's having." #5 “Here's looking at you, kid."
WATCH CLIPS


Question: The compliment men like most is "You're so funny." According to a recent survey, what compliment women like most?

Answer: You have a nice smile

Question: They estimate that 2.4 billion people around the world are expected to do this Month - what is it?

Answer: Watch (or listen) to the Royal Wedding!

BTW According to the "Astrology Detective" on YourTango.com, Prince William's wedding day is a bad one. Says the Detective: "On April 29, 2011, Kate and Williams's wedding day, nearly all of the planets are in disharmonious positions, which could mean a married life filled with challenges and misunderstandings. They would have been better off waiting a month or two to wed under more harmonious skies. In fact, if Princess Diana were around today she never would have allowed the couple to wed on April 29. Diana used astrologers, and any good astrologer would have told Waity Katey to waity a lil longer.

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In honor of "National Crime Victims’ Rights Week - Reagan library is Screening of “Heaven’s Rain”"


Please join us for a private screening of “Heaven’s Rain,” the inspiring true story of Brooks Douglass, his sister Leslie, and their parents who were brutally attacked by two drifters in 1979. Mr. Douglass and his sister survived the attack, but their parents did not. The crime became a driving force for Mr. Douglass to become the youngest elected Oklahoma State Senator, and to champion legislation on behalf of crime victims.

The film will be screened at 7:00 p.m. and will be followed by a film discussion with Ventura County District Attorney Greg Totten and the film’s co-author and producer, Brooks Douglass.

This film has been rated R for due to brief flashbacks to a crime scene, which are handled delicately and respectfully, but are not appropriate for children.

This event is free and open to the public; however, reservations for seating are recommended. Click here.